Getting down and dirty??

Well my son is getting bigger and bigger everyday. And with this growth comes all his new knowledge of the world around him and how things work. So it wouldn't come as a surprise that he has learned a few new tricks. FOR EXAMPLE! The other day I was getting him ready for a very stinky diaper change. I took off his pants and laid him down on the floor while I was getting together my bomb squad supplies to take care of the explosion. Now i'm not sure if I am just crazy but I swear to you that he has the most mischievous smile that just shows that he is getting into something that he isn't supposed to be. I am keeping about one eye on him while he is taking the sides of his diaper and un-sticking them and then sticking em back on. He does this for a little bit till I leave the room to get wipes. Sure enough from the time I go into the next room and back he took his diaper off and was exploring the explosion in his diaper. Its situations like these that leads the first-aid kits to supply latex gloves, that way you can manage to plop em in the tub without being covered in "mud pie".

It all started with the duckies...

Well it has been about a week since my last update and thats because I have been loosing my mind.

After being a mom you often times wonder what it would be like without your little ones around. Tuesday night my boy slept over his fathers house. Now one might think that the chaos would subside and time would settle to hours feeling like hours rather than flying by as minutes. Wednesday morning was like a fantasy, sleeping in till 730 without having to wake for a crying infant. Then it happened... I woke up late 7:45 (needing to be at work at 8). Hopped in the shower. As I was taking one of the rare peekaboo-less showers it started. I fell into the shower, tripped over the flock of rubbie duckies that have migrated into our tub. Ran soap over my body and jumped out. I rushed to get clothes on cause it was nearing 7:50 and it took about 15 minutes to get to work (again, needing to be at work at 8). I could have made it on time if it werent for the phone call I received... I needed to pick up my son straight from work so that his father could go to his work. The phone call I had just received informned me that my carseat was in my moms car that was about 30 minutes away in the opposite direction.. GREAT! I jumped in the car to hear "DING" informing me that the gas light was on. EVEN BETTER!

I finally arrive at work and of course I was several minutes late. I figured that the morning could not possibly get any worse till I discover that my brother is late for his flight into NH due to a noreaster??! that they are having in florida. So I was phone tagging with my mom, my brother, my husband and delta to figure out if he could make it up north that day. Of course he missed his flight. Then came the excitement of finding a new flight.

NEXT DAY- wednesday

My brother has a flight! His flight from FL to ATL was delayed. AWESOME! He missed his flight from ATL to NH. HURRAY! and the best thing ever is that he left his cell phone in FL so there was no way to get in touch with him except through payphones. So he said he MIGHT get put on a flight to Boston so if we didnt get a call from him then he would be on that flight but if we did hear from him than he was flying into NH. Of course because it was rush hour we would have to leave right then and couldnt wait to see if there was a call from him... So we drove the hour to Boston PRAYING that he was going into Boston. It worked out that he did arrive there but of course all of his stuff was flown into NH.

The next few days was just busy


Sunday-

I had to stay late at work which ment I had to bring my son home and put him to bed and then go back in after he was asleep. My son has been sick leading us to many sleepless night so after I put him down I went to the store to pick up some cough medicine. Well because I am losing my mind I forgot my lisence but figured it was ok because the store was just down the street and it would only take a couple of minutes. I only had a 5 dollar bill and assumed that would be enough for some cough/congestion stuff. Well I go into the store, hunt down the medicine and find that of course it was 6.60. I went into my van to dig for any loose change cause my son really needed some medicine. I finally found it amongst the pennies and nickles I had at the bottom of my diaper bag and in the pockets of the van. I grabbed the medicine and proceded to the automatic check out counter. The one where you do it yourself so I wouldnt be so embarrased paying in mostly pennies and a 5 dollar bill. I scan the medicine in and surely enough you have to be 18 to buy it and you need to show your ID. Well of course you need an ID to buy BABY MEDICINE! What was I thinking? After all the Milicone drops I have sniffed to get high I should have known! Luckily the girl knew me and told the machine to continue. Then the machine wouldnt take my 5 because it was too wrinkled... So there was a cancel button and I pressed that.. It didnt work. The rest of the line was looking at me crazy cause I pressed almost every button there was and the machine stopped working. By that time im going crazy. The girl fixed the machine, it took my bill and my pennies and let me leave. I practically run to the van just wanting to get the heck out of there. and then my car alarm starts going off!! I had my husbands keys and he doesnt have a thing with the button to stop it and I had no idea what to do. So im sitting in my car pressing and pulling anything I can find to make the abnoxious noise stop and the car next to me waved me over to them. The man in the car was a mechanic and walked me through the process of how to make it stop. Finally I made it home an HOUR later (yes this place is just down the street). I dropped off the medicine and then went back to work.

So yes.. I am losing my mind!

The Rich, The Famous and The Truly GHETTO.

Upon entering our master bedroom you will see a wall with 14 photos in a framed web. The story starts years ago as I was walking in some sort of home decor store (probably a bed bath and beyond of some sort). I saw an interesting photo frame. I thought it entirely too cool how each frame is conected to form an intercate web. Looking at the price tag I decided that it would probably be even cooler to not waste that much money. So from that day forward I dreamt and searched for a marked down frame of the sort. With little luck I chose to make my own from regular picture frames. However with 14 photos and each frame costing the cheapest $3 I assumed there must be a more ghetto way. And about 3 weeks ago I found my answer while finishing up a giant elmo potrait I painted in my sons room. Of course we all know the lovable elmo's colors being, red fur, orange nose and BLACK outline. I already decided that I would use these colors to create Clifford and Bob the tomato in his play room ( i wasnt wasting that 88 cents for nothing). But I thought of something even more brilliant to do with the leftover black paint. I placed the pictures in a scattered mannar on our wall. I proceded to take the black paint and paint all of my frames myself.

The ghetto price (making my own web using $3 frames)- $42.
The truly ghetto (making my own web using already purchased paint)- priceless.

Another helpful ghetto tip my husband and I picked up after being married. If you can't afford all of the necessary birth control materials. Go to the condom websites and request free samples under different names.

The lines arent completly straight cause I just did them freehand for right now. It will look perfect once I use an edge. And I will have time for that probably once my son goes away to college.

Wait! Youre not my husband!

Now normally on our anniversaries my husband and I can be caught fighting and screaming at each other for lack of memory. However, this anniversary was different. I decided to take my husband out to the movies. Now it seemed as if I were pampering my lovely husband yet my intentions were not so innocent. We attended "Becoming Jane" an amazing biography of the famous and well versed Jane Austen. The movie ended and so came the after movie rituals (ie bathroom break). So I go to the bathroom first because one person has to guard the left over popcorn. When I relieve my husband I wait anxiously in the empty theater seeing as it was nearing 1030. I see a person start to leave the mens room and I assume it is my husband because the theater was empty. I extend my hand and start my way towards the person not noticing till I got there that the person was not who i thought he was. The man starts laughing when I look at him finally and shout out "Wait! Youre not my husband!

Yes, I am a natural BRUNETTE!

"When did we become so daring!??"

My husband says this to me while our van is on empty yet we drive 2 towns over to save 6 cents. How did I get from being so carefree to being "daring" for trying to save pennies? Seeing how the boys in my class act it makes me nervous about how many phone calls I am going to get from my son's teachers about his behavior. I often am puzzled by the boys seeing their new inventions day after day. Ben today, decided it would be fun to flip all the furniture upside down. Why he did this I had no idea. He just started flipping and when everything was flipped he moved on to do something else. My husband has this tendancy of teaching my son trouble making acts (whether it be intentional or unintentional). For instance, my 9 month old can spit. Not like some drool hanging down from his chin but like puddles of saliva on the floor. So the other mothers are bragging that their children can talk and walk and I get to brag about my sons over active saliva glands.

I dont want to grow up, cause baby, if I did, I wouldnt be a Toys R us kid!

"There will be a day in everyones life where you are going to have to do something that you do not want to do."

I assumed I hit all of those spots already in life. Finishing my senior year pregnant, sharing legal custidoy with someone I am not all that fond of, living out of a suitcase when my family kicked me out. I thought I already had my share of doing what I don't want to. Little did I know that being an adult, a wife, a mother, a daughter and a student had more hard times than I had necessarily signed up for.

I just wrote a paper on the factors of reasoning. However, I did not realize that my essay would speak so loudly and influence all of the reasoning that would take place for the rest of my life. I didnt realize till today that people depend on my decisions. When someone passes away they have a headstone which is engraved with an epitaph including who they left behind. Whether they knew it or not their life choices affected the surrounding people. The more people that are in your life the more people who are affected. I dont just make decisions for myself but i make decisions for my son's future, my husband's future and then myself.

Living an unselfish life is a lot harder than it looks. Looking past my desires and my wants so that in the end my sons life and those lives surrounding mine will be bettered is not an easy thing. As hard as I want to cry and live in the past I must move onward towards the future. I dont know if I can do it but for the sake of those around me I will give up what I want so badly and do what I do not want to do.

The mom hair cut

After hundreds of strand casualties, due to my son, I decided it would be best if I cut my hair. I debated back and forth about having the mom hair cut for about a year now. My husband and I love being cliche and its what i always wanted for my future. Yes we often match all of our outfits and make sure to go everywhere in our mini van so now it was my hairs turn to be converted. 7 inches of thick dark hair was cut and thrown to the floor. If I knew I would lose that much I would have tried to glue it to my sons head cause he is quite in need of some sort of toupe. So i guess from here on it will be ackward lengths till it gets back to its orignal beauty.

We bought a cage for our son today. Let's be real a "play yard" is just a nicer way of saying cage. Then for the better parents they have the extension pannels to make it a bit more roomy. He probably wont be in it too much but I figure when we are too tired to watch him like a hawk I can refrain from waking up to "CRASH!" in the morning. So we will see how that works.

Im stuck on band aid brand cause germs dont stick on me

Waking up hearing "CRASH!!!" and the sound of glass shattering followed by your sons cry is never a good thing. He was on the floor and decided to use his new skill of crawling to examine a glass cup (he has also used this new skill to discover just how much baby powder he can pour on the floor and how much dirt he can fit in his mouth). So he took the glass cup and threw it on the hardwood and cut his finger. He was more shocked than hurt. His first non-shot band-aid seemed to be flavored because he kept sucking on it and biting it till it fell off. Between him and my husband I suspect that this is the first band aid of many to come.

Can you say "poligamy"?

Sarah looked at my wedding ring and asked, "why don't you have more"? I wanted to tell her that I just wasn't into poligamy but I knew it would result in blank stares. After that Luc came into the room asking for more toilet paper. We journeyed to the bathroom to find an overflowing toilet with about a rolls worth of toilet paper stuffed up. Working all day with kid's and not wanting to kill myself when I get home makes me think that we can handle having the 5 kids that we want. Today though I did have a bad day at work. Im not sure if the moons are aligned or if the cloudy day had any influence on the kids behavior but lets just say it felt like I had a class full of very short warewolves. But I guess everything in life is relative for instance; the kids were enjoyable relative to the frogs, locusts, hail, gnats and the river of blood that God sent to the Egyptians back in the Moses days.

The Boy Has Balls

It could have been greed or selfishness but my son has got balls. He was in school today and across the room he spotted it, a striped blown up beach ball. I underestimated him going to reach and hand it to him. I did however pull back when I saw him in position You know the glint in his eyes, the look of determination on his hands and knees. Then he goes for it... Right. Left. Right. Left. Till he reached the finish line. He sat down and grabbed his beach ball trophy. That is right, my son, crawled for the first time. Seeing as I am frequently diagnosed with the proud mommy syndrome I broke into tears, marveling my amazing 9 month old. I continued the tears till I got home to tell his daddy.

I foresee my future being an annoying soccer mom crying at graduations and his first date. I appologize for the embarrassment that he is destined to be a part of.

When are you getting married for real?

I had to laugh out loud when 5 year old Emma asked me this question. What happened from playing dress up to changing diapers? What did I miss when going from day dreaming to sleepless days? It seems like life went by so fast and I thought like this chapter in life would be the end. Little did I realize that life is just starting. When I found out the news of my son I was on a one track mind leading towards the distruction of all social interaction and all future dreams and aspirations. Now I realize that this is the begining. It feels like those days of my life were just a preface for the story that comes next. A musical bridge leading me to the chorus. I still have social interaction (though it includes making up a silly song to whatever activity I need children to pay attention to) and my aspirations of becoming anything more than a taxi mom have vanished. So this will be my story, of how I went from playing dress up to changing diapers and then to taxi mom.